


a miles away smile

by blastellanos



Category: Baseball RPF
Genre: Multi, at the photo, i had to take a break from my other thing, i'm crying thinking about this, i'm emotional, my brain was like !!!, u know which one i mean
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-08
Updated: 2018-06-08
Packaged: 2019-05-19 14:02:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 349
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14875121
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blastellanos/pseuds/blastellanos
Summary: Justin Verlander is on top of the world.





	a miles away smile

Justin Verlander is on top of the world. He's got a wedding ring and a world series ring, and he's blazing through the season, setting his sights on a second Cy Young. Chasing, feeling, Hall of Fame, and cementing his legacy. He knows where he sits, he knows a lot of things, and he knows that he should be happy. 

And he is-- to a point. To a degree. On most days. Sometimes, he rolls over and buries his nose in Kate's long, floral scented hair, and tries to remember all the reasons that he's happy. As he strokes over her smooth skin, and presses his mouth to her bared shoulder. 

On the road, he rolls over and there's no one there, and that's where his mind starts to wander. 

There's a point where he knows he should purge his feed of things that make him nostalgic, that make him long for different days-- not better, not strictly better-- but different. His hand gropes at empty bed sheets and he doesn't imagine long blonde hair, but dark curls and the smell of something musky and citrusy, the expensive soaps that Miguel had favored. 

There's a longing and an inability to let go. He has so many things going on, his phone is nearly never silent. He has to scroll through days and days of photos, of teammates, of friends, of family. But then he stops on that dark blue and old English D, and he sees his face and--

Now he only sees him in photos, smiling still like nothing has changed. Still so beautiful and brilliant, it's hard to deal with. Sometimes it's all that Justin sees when he closes his eyes. Sometimes he feels like it sticks in his ribs like a knife and he goes for days feeling it. 

Justin's tried, a few times, to text him-- to call-- but it remains unseen, unanswered, unnoticed. 

He could have stayed. 

Justin knows he could have stayed and he chased one dream, but to do that, he had to give up another. 

So he goes back to dreaming.


End file.
